After our first meeting on September 2, 2016, I wrote:
“Loraine shared her readiness to honor death and stop all aggressive cancer treatment. She reported her desire to be as comfortable as possible, to die at home with her loved ones around. She also expressed a desire to plan a celebration of her life before she died. She requested that I help her choose a hospice and guide her through this sacred time of her life. I found Loraine loving, kind, intelligent, and quite conscious of her mind, body, and spirit”
Ever since that day, I became her Death Doula. Oh, how she loved introducing me as “Her Death Doula”.
Over the next two years I cherished our many intimate sessions about life, death, fears, joys, regrets, and loves. One of the qualities I most admired was your raw, honest, and heartfelt sharing. Often took my breath away.
I will never forget the day she faced death. I walked in the door you were waiting for me in your favorite chair set by the picture window in your sweet cabin. I could feel and visibly see your excitement and anticipation of our visit. I was always touched as you lit up when I walked in the room. This session was one of our first few times together.
You ask me to pull up a little bench, so I could sit close to you. I reached for your hand as I continued to do for the next two years. We always held hands. I felt all your emotions through your tender hands—strength, courage, fears, vulnerability, and delight. We melted a little at the touch of our hands. You looked a little anxious and upset. I gently inquired.
You began to ask about death. What was it like? Would you meet your father (GOD)? Would you be in pain? Etc…
Silence fell upon us after some tender sharing. You began to quiver, gasp for breath, sob and gripped my hand like your life depended upon it. Your eyes got really huge. Then they shut closed with a chill. The silence was broken by your sobs. Silence filled the air. We sat for quite a long time….
Slowly over time your heart, spirit, and soul opened, and a new quietude settled upon your spirit. Death Had been touched. From this moment on, death was part of weekly conversations. You set out from this moment to Embrace Life and Honor Death. The journey at times was more than you could bear and you did…with raw grace.
Brave beyond words, you faced your judgements, regrets and fears with a steadfast passion.
Loriane taught me once again how free we begin to living to our ultimate.
And the sun rose-
Humble as ever-
His rays blazing-
Trails of light
Guiding those who dare to dance within his fire
The Bees, the birds and thee ignite within these sun blazes
Destine for eternal peace
Touched by unknown power
Gazing through a receptacle of unknown light
The fire that never sets.
~Loriane & deerheart